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About Us
Weekly staff unplugged
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 Full
Name: E. Z. Mac
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Date of Birth: 13th century
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Place of Birth: The highlands of Scotland
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Favorite Food: Easy Mac
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Favorite Restaurant: The Macaroni Grill
(yes, he likes macaroni, but don’t dare call him a “wet noodle”)
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Favorite Movie: Braveheart
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Favorite Actor: Sean Connery
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Favorite Band: The Three Triumphant Bagpipers
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Personality: E. Z. Mac is reputed for
his hostility. He is very temperamental, becoming irritated at the
smallest details. He especially dislikes Whittington Weekly staff member,
Shaggy Phat, but we do not know why. He enjoys throwing projectiles at
the door to Shaggy Phat’s dorm room in Whittington Hall and punting his
favorite Scooby Doo doll down the hallway. He has been known to become
so enraged at the pasta dishes in the school cafeteria, that he begins
to beat the food
into a pulp with his fist in an attempt to
show it “how weak it really is.” His animosity can only be curbed the soothing
rhythm of Grandmaster
Sexay's dance moves.
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E. Z. Mac prefers to wear a grass skirt instead
of the traditional Scottish kilt; the kilt, he argues, chaffes his legs.
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Hobbies: complaining, yelling, beating
up Shaggy
Phat, writing for The Whittington Weekly
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Quotation: “If it’s not Scottish, it’s
crap!”
All
articles are intended for parody purposes only.
Comments?
E-mail us. © Copyright 2000
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