Volume 1, Issue 2 -- April 3, 2000





    About Us 
    Weekly staff unplugged
  • Full Name: E. Z. Mac
  • Date of Birth: 13th century
  • Place of Birth: The highlands of Scotland
  • Favorite Food: Easy Mac 
  • Favorite Restaurant: The Macaroni Grill (yes, he likes macaroni, but don’t dare call him a “wet noodle”)
  • Favorite Movie: Braveheart
  • Favorite Actor: Sean Connery
  • Favorite Band: The Three Triumphant Bagpipers
  • Personality: E. Z. Mac is reputed for his hostility.  He is very temperamental, becoming irritated at the smallest details. He especially dislikes Whittington Weekly staff member, Shaggy Phat, but we do not know why. He enjoys throwing projectiles at the door to Shaggy Phat’s dorm room in Whittington Hall and punting his favorite Scooby Doo doll down the hallway. He has been known to become so enraged at the pasta dishes in the school cafeteria, that he begins to beat the food

  • into a pulp with his fist in an attempt to show it “how weak it really is.” His animosity can only be curbed the soothing rhythm of Grandmaster Sexay's dance moves. 
  • E. Z. Mac prefers to wear a grass skirt instead of the traditional Scottish kilt; the kilt, he argues, chaffes his legs. 
  • Hobbies: complaining, yelling, beating up Shaggy Phat, writing for The Whittington Weekly
  • Quotation: “If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!”


    All  articles are intended for parody purposes only.  
    Comments? E-mail us. © Copyright 2000