Volume 1, Issue 4 -- May 12, 2000

Final Answer? Part Deux
Kugel concerned about budget crisis; tries luck with Regis
Regis: You answered D, the world may never know...that is exactly right!
Ku Gel you have just won $1,000,000!!
Kugel (choked up): I can't believe it! I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!  Yo Collegian, I did it! 

Regis: Well, you certainly should be proud of yourself. You went all the way, and now you've got the money to prove it. 

Kugel: I just don't know what to do with myself!  The room is spinning, unlike myself for a change. Heh heh. 

Regis: Here ya go Ku, a check for one million dollars!

Kugel: I'm so full of joy I could just, just, whooooaa!

<Kugel rolls forward to receive check, crushes Regis>

Regis: GET OFF of me you rotund retard!

Kugel: Regis, I'm so so sorry. Sometimes I don't fully realize my own momentum and...

Regis: I could CARE LESS about your MOMENTUM! Turn off the cameras, you hear me? And get my lawyer on the phone. I'll see you in court, KU Gel! You can kiss that money goodbye! 

Kugel: Regis! Please! It was an accident! Oh, bother. The tears of a Kugel... whatever am I to do?

The above article was intended for parody purposes only. 
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