Volume 1, Issue 8 -- April 12, 2001

Spring Fever runs rampant
All we wanted was a Velcro wall

For the week of April 2-6, the always much anticipated  Spring Fever Week hit the campus, leaving in its wake a trail of peeled shrimp and hot dog wiener remnants. Oh yeah, and the Coca-Cola trailer still remains parked in the quad. 

Traditionally, this is an SGA sponsored time for students to put down their books and enjoy the newfound weather. This year's festivities included a seafood boil, a showing of Top Gun in the quad, a silent auction fundraiser for the Make-A-Wish- Foundation, and of course a live concert by whatever band was available for the amount of funds allotted. Thankfully, the Whittington Weekly was there to recap all of the major headlines.

Karl Moore sighted on campus

After being elected Campus Activities Board chairman last spring, this student representative disappeared from campus life only to make his triumphant return during Derby Day (one of the fruits of his tireless efforts) last week. Upon noticing him, students exclaimed, "Why is Graham Carner in charge of Derby Day?"  Upon questioning Moore on his resemblance to the current SGA President, he politely declined to comment by replying: "No comment."

In a somewhat related incident, BSU members stood in disbelief after discovering Christy Carley had not won the SGA presidential election against William Waller. Rioting Baptists were quickly subdued after the stunning realization that Joy Fain was actually Waller's competition.

King Konga konquers kquad

Thursday night brought the much anticipated King Konga (who?) concert, with a one night only performance on the far edge of the Quad near Chrestman. Perhaps this could explain the abundance of freshmen girls at the event, whom sleep would not visit on this night. 

Attendees were treated to their favorite King Konga hits from past albums "Monkey See. Monkey Groove" and "Halo". The band also did a great job of butchering a cover of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes".

Almost as if in response to the constant questions of the band's identity circulating through the crowd, the lead singer felt the need to proclaim "Hey, guys, we're King KONGa!!" after every song.

As the distinct, sharp odor of beer wafted into the crowd, choctaws were perplexed at the appearance of a group of invading Millsaps students, complete with alcoholic beverages "cleverly disguised" in Powerade bottles. Then the obviously drunk Millsaps miscreants proceeded to scream and yell at the band (giving King Konga the excuse to shout their name five more times).

Finally, the irony was not lost on us that this drunken display took place only a few feet away from the spot where the wrecked car rested promoting Alcohol and Drug Awareness. When asked about the responsibility of musicians to promote healthy lifestyles, Konga's drummer stared blankly at us before answering, "We're KING KONGaaaaaaa!!!! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Uh." -- Whittington Weekly staff

The above article was intended for parody purposes only.
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