Volume 1, Issue 7 -- February 6, 2001

Chapel speaker shares students' enthusiasm

"I don't want to be here either."

The Spring 2001 semester of chapel kicked off the week of  January 23. After some brief announcements and  a session of worship music, the air in Swor Auditorium was charged with spiritual excitement...at least for those paying attention. Then, as the featured speaker (the pastor of a prominent on-campus house of worship) took to the stage, students were startled when they were asked point blank, "How many of you are glad you are here today?"

While the question itself wasn't out of the ordinary, the admission that followed was enough to make any listener glance up from last week's reading assignment. "I don't want to be here either," exclaimed the pastor, who revealed that there were many other speaking engagements he would rather attend than a session of MC chapel. 

Students whose interest was held beyond this were treated to a bizarre journey to the Wall of Wisdom and through the Palace of Pleasure. The speaker then concluded that everything was, "MEANingless...a CHASing after the wind." 
-- Grandmaster Sexay

The above article was intended for parody purposes only.
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