Special Report:
The Convocation
Cause Baptists rule!
SWOR
AUDITORIUM: At eleven o'clock on January 24, the celebration of our
175 year legacy kicked off with an hour long Convocation ceremony. Faculty,
administration, and alumni alike all filed into Swor Auditorium in anticipation
of the coming events. All classes were canceled during this time, with
expectations for a high student turn-out...which was sadly not the case.
Fortunately for those who missed out, the Whittington Weekly staff
was in attendance and observed the festivities from the fourth row. Why
so far back, you ask? Well, simply because the first three rows were reserved,
and for some strange reason, we were not among the elite that those rows
were reserved for.
After a knock-out opening performance by the
MC Concert Singers, the Convocation was underway. However, halfway through
the ceremony some of the speakers seemed to forget that this service was
held in honor of our college's legacy and instead spent all of their time
at the podium bragging about our Baptist heritage and nobility. Among the
boasting was the statement that our college is, "stronger than it has ever
been." Apparently, these guest speakers conveniently did not pay attention
to any of the controversies of 2000. Or perhaps all of this was said just
because the Board of Trustees was in attendance. This was followed by a
24 verse long responsive reading, which began running a little long, maybe
because an announcement was already made that cake would be served in the
Food Court at the conclusion of the ceremony.
In our opinion, the most significant occurrance
was a "gift" that Mrs. Lynda Street presented the college during her address.
To the naked eye the package appeared normal, complete with blue wrapping
and a splendid gold bow adorning the top. While the contents of the box
was never revealed, Street stated that the only thing inside was "gratitude."
But thanks to our new Spytech camera, the Whittington Weekly has
unwrapped Mrs. Street's gift and will now exclusively present our findings
to the world, er, campus.
Gratitude huh? I think that the pictures speak
for themselves. No further questions, your honor. Now, how about some of
that cake... -- Grandmaster
Sexay
