Volume 1, Issue 4 -- May 12, 2000

"Why don't you slide?"
Home alone in Whittington

On the second floor of Hotel Whittington things got a little slippery. For reasons unknown, someone found it necessary to empty an entire bottle of shampoo onto the floor of the hall.  Students became angry when they were forced to slide through and dodge white trails of soap as they ventured to class.

Why did this person feel it necessary to reenact a scene for Home Alone 2?  Was he trying to stop burglars from taking all his valuables?  Should students next expect to dodge paint cans as they walk up the stairs?  While everyone should be protective of their belongings, especially in Whittington (where, due to broken door locks, any random hitchhiker could walk in off Highway 80).  However, I think this takes it too far. 

Was it actually a student who did this?  Could it be a way to save more money?  Is the budget so bad that instead of mopping the floors they just splash shampoo onto it now?  How far will these cuts go?  Iím afraid that next we will have to resort to using leaves in the place of Savoy. -- Shaggy Phat

The above article was intended for parody purposes only.
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