Volume 1, Issue 2 -- April 3, 2000

"Where's the stash?"
Drug canines run loose in Whittington

Residents’ routine dorm life took an interesting turn last week. While students spent their leisure time engaged in various activities, a search began inside the halls of Whittington. Accompanied by one of the members of our administration, a search team consisting of two of Clinton’s finest and a dog from their K-9 unit embarked on their quest to inspect and sniff every inch of the freshmen dorm. Some students stared out of their room to catch a glimpse of the search team, while others paid no mind to the confusion. 

Not much is known about what the team was exactly searching for. We know that they did an extensive search through each hall of Whittington. It seemed that the dog had found something as it began to search the second floor again. Unfortunately for the Clinton PD, no drugs were found. Apparently, the only thing that the dog was really looking for was a place to squat. Upon seeing this, the officer with leash gently tugged in protest, but then shrugged while Rin Tin-Tin did his business. After the massive canine left a trail of kibbles and bits behind him that was over two yards long, the police calmly walked out of the dorm. Thanks a load guys, it's not like we actually have to live in here. The smell became so nauseating that residents were forced to evacuate the dorm. Finally, after the clean up was done, students slowly began to re-enter their homes. -- Shaggy Phat

The above article was intended for parody purposes only.
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