Volume 1, Issue 2 -- April 3, 2000

“Bored” Games:
Business Meetings becoming more monotonous

B.C. Rogers: Upon entering the cafeteria at the beginning of this semester, students immediately noticed something very different--and no, it wasn’t the addition of yet another chicken recipe to the Main Event line. 

The change was the expansion of the cafeteria to nearly twice its original size. Also, several smaller conference rooms had been constructed off to the sides.

While students initially rushed to the new addition of the building to observe the
untainted view of Whittington Hall in all its glory from the massive arched windows--
which have since been desecrated by Scotch tape left over from SGA elections--faculty
members could frequently be seen scuttling through the crowd toward the isolated
conference rooms.

So what actually goes on inside these rooms?  Surely, the college President is presiding over important business meetings or the Board of Trustees is involved in stifling negotiations to better the future of the school and the students.

Of course, what really goes on behind closed doors in the B. C. Rogers Student Center is all speculation and could never be accurately relayed to spectators on the outside--until now.

Fortunately, for your reading pleasure, Whittington Weekly staff members have
gained exclusive inside information concerning affairs within cafeteria conference rooms
and have collaborated their accounts to form this special report.

Four faculty members were recently seen leaving what surely must have been an excruciating conference. The four were seen coming out of one of the conference rooms, and under one of the faculty member’s arms rested the popular charades-style game, “Taboo.” 

Interestingly, the looks on the faculty members’ faces did not convey the reality that they had been making decisions that could make or break the future of this institution. They actually seemed quite jovial and lighthearted.

This event just goes to show that a little bit of “Taboo” in this world can go a long way. 

If you would like further information on the nature of board games and their special place in the college administration, you may call the business office. Or, if you would like to make a monetary donation to the college’s Board Game Fund, please contact the office of financial affairs. -- E.Z. Mac

The above article was intended for parody purposes only. 
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