Students surprised by new word in vocabulary
A Correct to: “Chapel absence letter suprises many”

The latest issue of The Collegian (dated November 20, 2000) went great lengths by touching on a wide variety of campus and national issues, commenting on current popular entertainment, and even coaxing readers to get into the Christmas spirit.

However, as in the other “Collegian Correction” of this semester, an unfortunate, gleaming mistake somehow found its way into the student paper.  Even worse, the mistake appeared in the first headline of the front page. 

The article deals with the mid-semester crisis involving mistakes in school records of chapel attendance.  Perhaps it is fitting that an article concerning mistakes is capitalized by a headline that contains a mistake- “Chapel absence letter suprises many.”

Apparently, The Collegian staff has once again overestimated its power. It is preposterous to assume that the world will actually believe that “suprises” is a word.  

You guys are great at reporting news of interest to students, providing an arena for discussion, and establishing a basis for opinion on issues, but come on, you can’t just make up words whenever you feel like it and start using them like they’re already in the dictionary. Just because you see people in the cafeteria reading The Collegian, that doesn’t mean that they’ll just accept your new vocabulary.  Who died and the made The Collegian staff Daniel Webster?   

Believe me. I’ve even read your mission statement that’s printed in every issue of the paper, and it says nothing about “The Collegian staff will strive to thrust its made-up words into American society.”  Nothing.

So what’s next?  First, new words. Next thing you know, some editor over there will say, “Aw heck.  Why don’t we just make up our own language?  Eeska wotu cajr nokcka.” -- E.Z. Mac
 

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The above article was intended for parody purposes only.
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